Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Crazy People

It should come as no surprise that some inmates are a little crazy.  Many of the more interesting moments in prison involve these less than sane fellows.  Most crazy guys have a trademark thing they do.  A common trait among the crazies is to tell outrageous lies.  Like a fifty year old guy who claims to have served in Viet Nam (we left Viet Nam in 1975, so he'd have been 9 years old then.)  Or one who claimed he was a hit man for mob boss John Gotty and a member of Al Qaida. I've met several "pilots" who couldn't answer my basic questions about an airplane cockpit. I've met six guys who lied about being on the FBI Ten Most Wanted List.  This group I enjoy because I have a book that list all the FBI Ten Most Wanted so I pull it out and say, "I'm number 467, what number are you?"  We have our share of crazy liars.
One particularly annoying fellow, whom we called the "Ground Hog Whisper" because he talked to ground hogs, and amazingly the ground hogs would stand up near him and respond.  Go figure. That guy would stand up in the chow hall then spin completely around and sit back down.  He would do this repeatedly for no reason that anyone else could see.  I figure it was a call for attention.  It could be that he was scared.  A lot of scared guys act crazy as a defense mechanism.  Those you eventually figure out because no one can maintain a lie for years on end.
One guy who wasn't faking was called "Tommy Dog."  Tommy thought he was a dog.  When some one would greet him he would respond with a bark.  When every one else would stand, Dog would sit on his haunches.  One time I was walking behind Dog going down to the gym.  There was no one else around and Dog didn't known I was behind him, yet as he walked he barked. One time I asked him, "How old were you when you knew you'd grown up to be a dog?"  He answered, "I've know since I was still a puppy."

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