I can be emotional. It is rare that this side of me manifest, but it did tonight while talking to Hope. Her and Joshua were home from the hospital and doing fine. I was always a mess when Mary had our babies but I tried to hide it to put on a strong front for her. I didn't fool her. I try to put on a brave front with my daughters, and that works most of the time because I am not there with them. But with Hope on the phone tonight I failed and she saw how soft I really am.
We have a bank of four telephones in the cell block, all lined up ten inches apart against the wall in the busiest part of the block. There is little privacy when on the phone. So it's not considered "manly" to cry on the phone, yet that is what I did while talking to Hope. Of course when I started crying she did too, which didn't help. I couldn't help it. It was a combination of going from worried to relieved and just how happy I was for Hope and how proud I was of her. It was all too much for me so I couldn't help myself.
Some tough guy I am.
I am in awe of women. The process of having a baby amazes me and puts me in awe of the women who do it. It is such a painfully horrible ordeal, yet women from the beginning of time have had babies. They didn't use to have a choice in the matter, but today they do. A woman can avoid getting pregnant, and even if she does she can avoid having a baby. Yet women everywhere choose to have babies. Just like the women who came before them, modern women choose to endure the worry and pain and they choose to devote themselves to the care of that little one for many years. Every person alive on this planet is here because of the strength and courage of a woman. I am in awe of the strength and courage of women. And I am exceedingly proud of my wife and our five daughters for the courage they displayed when they brought life into this world.
I going to stop here before I start crying in the computer room. Guys are already beginning to talk. Lord help if they figured out what I was all mushy over.